


Omega

by Ambleon



Category: Death Note
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Attempted Murder, Body Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Omega Verse, References to Knotting, Self-Lubrication, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-03-30 01:18:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3917827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ambleon/pseuds/Ambleon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Light is stabbed by a dangerous criminal and loses consciousness while trying to escape. When he wakes up he's lying in the middle of a crime scene covered in blood, and L is alive, but even stranger than that — apparently Light is an Omega?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Relocation

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by the Hannibal fic Outcast by dandelion_wishes.

Light Yagami closed his death note with a sigh and placed it in his briefcase, sitting up to stretch his arms above his head with a yawn before rising to leave the office for the night. It was already 1:17 and he was dead on his feet. The utopia that he had envisioned as a teenager was still a work in progress, time consuming work, but Light had the patience to see his mission through.

Time was all it would take now that L was gone. Five years since that day had passed and the people of the world were growing to accept Kira's justice. While there were those that still clung to the past, more and more people were changing their minds.

Light still felt a thrill when he thought of how far he had come since those days under L's lock and key and as he stood at the doorway, poised to flick off the light switch, he smiled freely.

For the first time in many months Light was completely alone. It felt almost strange now to not have eyes watching his every move. Ryuk was off in the Shinigami realm for once. Misa would undoubtedly be fast asleep by now, as Light had planned for when he left her early this morning to go to work. His father, the last to leave the office tonight, had pat Light on the back at eleven and told him to not work too late into the night. Completely accepting of Light's excuse that he had wanted to continue working on the Kira case despite the fact that it had basically been a cold case for many years now.

As he turned the lights off and shut the door, left the building and headed out into the dark street towards his car, Light went through his plans for the weeks ahead. Five years ago his ability to think ten steps in advance compared to the average person was what kept him alive. In recent years it saved him from more frivolous things, like getting married to Misa for one. Light preoccupied the task force and kept Ryuk satisfied, and in turn everyone was simple to manipulate.

Of course, all of them could be lethal to him in their own ways but Light was so practiced at keeping the balance between all three aspects in his life that he never tripped up.

He always knew how much attention to give and withhold from Misa, just when to dangle a fake lead above the detective's heads to get them motivated while running in circles, and when to toss Ryuk an apple or tell the Shinigami a story. Everyone was easy to please and Light had always been an expert at anticipating other people's thought patterns.

It was almost too easy for Light, but then again he had earned it, after beating L.

As he came closer to his car he glanced into the backseat absently before pausing with complete surprise. Someone was inside his car. A man with wild hair that vividly reminded him of L was crouched low in the back of it, staring. Their eyes locked for a brief moment and Light felt a shiver shoot up his spine in warning before he pressed the button to lock his car almost reflexively and jerked backwards, reaching for his cellphone.

His mind raced with a slew of questions as to why someone would be hiding in his car, coming to no good conclusions, and Light would have went for his death note if he'd bargained for the shinigami eyes before as the man leapt forward into action. Bursting out of the car after unlocking it and sprinting towards Light, tackling him just barely as Light tried to dodge and failed, the phone in his hand falling to the street.

Light hoped it wasn't broken as he struggled against his attacker. He threw a punch at the man but only grazed the side of his chin.

He struggled and shouted as the man punched him repeatedly with one hand and pulled a knife out of his baggy pants — even his clothing was similar to L's — until Light finally managed to hit the man in his throat as hard as he could.

It took the wind out of the attacker enough so that Light could struggle out of his grip.

The knife glinted as it came down sharply into Light's side before he could move away. Then it came up and came down again. He screamed and kicked the man in the face, remembering how effective it was when L had done it to him. Knocking the man down before he could move to stab him again.

Light didn't grab his phone or his suitcase, he ran towards the the building with his hand over his wounds, feeling the blood pour out of him and wooziness from the punches and blood loss.

His head had smacked into the ground when he'd been hit and it throbbed. He looked back to see the man was struggling to his feet.

Light ran faster, hand collapsing against the hood of a car even as his entire being screamed at him to run faster — get away — his last thoughts were _no. No._ Before his vision clouded over.

 

 

Light startled awake, head throbbing and fingernails crusty with blood. In nowhere near as much pain as he should have been. The smell surrounding him made his nose wrinkle as he'd never smelt anything so strong or disgusting.

When he opened his eyes the sky was a bright warm blue, three puffy clouds drifted above him, and unfamiliar brown eyes widened with shock as they stared down at him.

"Holy shit," the man breathed out quietly, fumbling backwards to stand upright. "There's someone alive here." He shouted.

Light was barely focusing on the words as he took in his nightmarish surroundings.

At least ten bodies were surrounding him, tangled together haphazardly. Though as he looked closer he realized each of the victims had been positioned purposely, all of their arms were reaching towards the center where Light laid sprawled, shirt torn from the stabbing and bloodied, at the eye of it all.

If he'd had any less practice at subduing his facial expressions when others were present to scrutinize him Light would have screamed and begun hyperventilating. As it was he sat up slowly and took in the face of each corpse.

To his rising dismay he realized that most of them looked like him, with his unusual brown hair standing out brightly against the circle of burnt black grass.

_What was this?_

"Are you hurt?" The detective asked.

Light would have told him about the man that had stabbed him last night but as he looked down and felt at the places where the knife had torn into him he felt nothing at all. Eyebrows creasing at the mystery Light stared at the blood that covered his shirt in the places where he had bled.

His hands were wobbly shaking, reddened from where he'd held himself. He shook his head to answer the man, because apparently he _wasn't_ injured, and waited as the paramedics rushed over.

"What's your name, sweetie?"

Light looked at the detective upon hearing the nickname.

"... Yagami Light."

The paramedics came and helped Light up when he assured them he wasn't injured. Distractedly he noticed the strong scents of their different colognes. One of the paramedics oddly pet his head and made a soothing cooing sound, brushing a strand of Light's hair behind his ear tenderly. Light didn't comment on the strange gesture as he was too busy being ushered away from the bodies, which was exactly what he wanted in the moment. He vehemently ignored how comforting the touches were.

As he was led away he looked down at the blood on his hands and wished that he could scrub it off. Doing that though would wash away evidence, compromising the investigation, so he tried to stay still as he waited for someone to see to him.

It didn't take long for a broadly built man in a blue lab coat to come over with the paramedic that had pet Light's hair to his right. Light felt like sneezing when they came closer, the musky scents of their colognes agitating his nose. For some reason since he'd woken up everything smelled sharper. The smell of the blood and death had made him more sensitive to odors, offensive or otherwise, it seemed.

He didn't smile as they approached, given the circumstance, but greeted them both politely as the paramedic described what the forensic specialist would be doing.

Light already knew the procedure despite his experience as a detective being mostly limited to the Kira case. He thought it odd when the paramedic touched his shoulder, looking into his eyes steadily.

"If Mr. Yamada or I do anything that makes you anxious or uncomfortable let us know, understand Light?" The man said, looking at him as if he had imparted something that wasn't obvious.

There was something almost too patronizing in the gentle way he spoke and Light was careful to not let on that he was lightly gritting his teeth after the comment. Light didn't appreciate being spoken to so informally either. Light, accustomed to being respected and even revered because of his intellect, could not wrap his mind around their attitudes towards him throughout their exchange. He had little experience in dealing with traumatized individuals, but he knew people, and no one appreciated being spoken down to.

He bore it silently though, somehow finding the patience, and let the man named Mr. Yamada work. Samples of the blood were taken, from his clothes and under his nails, and he was asked to stand still so that pictures could be taken as well.

At one point the paramedic did reach out as if to pet him again but Light moved away, giving the man a sharp look. Fortunately the man let him be.

The process was soon complete. Although both of them had felt the need to encourage Light throughout, saying things like "well done" and "we're almost finished, Light" with soft tones. It was highly disconcerting and for the most part Light felt drained by the end of it, feeling shocked by everything that was happening and still exhausted after what in his mind felt like the ending of a long day at work.

Soon Light was cocooned in a scratchy blanket for shock victims. He clutched at it's edges absently, unable to stop himself from blinking in the direction of the massacre. He barely listened when they said to ask one of them if he had any other questions. He said he would, he would not.

A different detective, with square glasses and graying hair that introduced himself as Detective Sato, came over to him after a time to question him. He asked Light gently what his name was and if he remembered what had happened. Light told the detective about the man in his car but stayed vague. Light felt unsure and unnerved by everything that had taken place.

"Do you think that you could describe the knife he had on him?"

"It was a simple steak knife. The handle was black."

The more he thought the less his current circumstance made sense. The man that had attacked him had had every intention of killing him. Light couldn't forget the cold, intent look in his eyes. He had stabbed Light twice and yet there wasn't even a scar when he ran his hand over where the knife had penetrated.

More than that though, it was currently spring. It had been fall, almost winter already, and yet the trees were newly blooming here. He wondered if his attacker had drugged him somehow, kept him under until he could finish his other killings. Healed him and then — Light clenched at the blanket angrily — put him in the middle of that gruesome display.

When he got his hands on the death note he would track down the — and Light's body froze stiffly. The death note. The killer had it. The man might have even killed all of these people with the notebook's assistance.

No, if he'd abducted Light then it was possible the death note was left untouched in his briefcase.

In which case, that scenario was even worse, Light realized. His father would have surely looked into Light's disappearance personally and in turn found the death note. Light felt his breath coming in quicker and faster as an icy fear rippled through him.

If his father found the death note then he would know that Light was Kira. It was in Light's possession, it was — wait, calm down, he thought fiercely. Think. Light had been kidnapped, his father would believe him if he said that the killer had planted the death note on him.

So long as Misa hadn't screwed anything up without Light around to guide her he would be able to talk himself out of this new tight spot.

That he hadn't been arrested after giving the detective his name was a good sign too. It was still a possibility that the death note had been stolen but at least in that case he still had Misa's notebook. Calming down, Light reasoned that he wasn't going to do himself any favors without knowing more information. He sat quietly, playing up the part of a distraught victim as he waited for his father to be contacted.

 

Forty minutes later Detective Sato let him know that his parents had been called and were on their way over. Light nodded shakily, mostly going through the motions because being traumatized was a predictable response to trauma. The faces of those bodies had shaken him but he comforted himself with the knowledge that soon they would be avenged.

"Thank you, Detective." Light said tremulously, wondering if his parents would call Misa as the detective went back to the crime scene.

While Light waited he lifted his hand to the back of his head where it had hit the ground. There wasn't so much as bruise. It was disturbing, to think that enough time had passed for his own body to have healed.

In fact, it didn't make sense to him. Nothing was adding up. The season, his injuries, the murders.

Detective Sato headed back over to him a moment later with an open laptop in his hands. Light stared at the back of it curiously. For a long second he remembered L, the laptop with the large gothic letter on the screen that the detective had used for different cases.

Light recalled the first time he saw that letter, the way the detectives goading taunts had made his blood boil. He recalled the first time he had impersonated L in the past.

Thinking about the detective reminded him of the man that had attacked him. They looked so similar. The largest difference being the black shirt that the killer had been wearing as apposed to the white L favored, and of course their faces had held some deviations in them from one another. It had been years but Light could still remember L's face clearly. It's colors and contours, and the memory of his attacker was crystal clear in his mind.

To Light it was as though he had been fighting for his life mere moments ago, only it must have happened months ago. Light couldn't even remember flashes of what might have happened in between that time. What was the current date? Was Misa continuing his work for him? Where was Ryuk in all that time?

Light observed the detective as he approached, shaking off thoughts of interrogating the death god for the time being so that he could focus on what the man was doing.

Detective Sato stopped in front of Light, laptop still facing inward so Light couldn't see what was on the screen.

"Thank you for your patience this morning." He said to Light, "I know you must be tired and your parents will be here shortly. Before you leave though it would greatly help the investigation if you were to answer a few questions while you wait."

Light frowned.

"I thought I already did, detective?"

The man nodded quickly.

"Of course, of course, Light. You're father works in law enforcement, correct? Has he ever mentioned the name L to you?"

Light was shocked. He wanted to say that L was dead. Instead he looked at the laptop as his mind fit a puzzle together.

Something that Ryuk had mentioned offhandedly leapt to the forefront of his mind. Something about other realms. Did that mean other realities?

Detective Sato seemed to take his expression for a yes and smiled. His hand turned the laptop carefully around and in the middle of the screen a large gothic styled L that Light hadn't seen in years stared back at him.

"Good morning, Light Yagami. I am L."

Immediately, mostly out of habit, Light subdued his shock. Who was this? None of the task force would have ever had the audacity to impersonate L. Even if they were smart enough after L's death their memories of the man had grown fonder as more time wore on. They wouldn't have wanted to. Only Light was given that privilege and it was something that he only used on occasion.

"Hello." Light replied, thinking rapidly.

What had been happening during Light's absence?

"Detective Sato has told me your story. I have one question." L was saying, even more monotonous with the computer altering his voice than Light remembered. "Whose car was the perpetrator hiding in?"

"I drive a Toyota Corolla-" Light started to say, stopping his hand from reflexively reaching for his pocket, remembering that he'd dropped his keys during the fight.

"You drive?" L asked.

Light felt his mouth turn down in a slight frown before he straightened it out. It wasn't exactly common to drive in Japan, but he didn't think it was so uncommon that it would stand out.

"Yes."

"Apologies. I was informed that you were an omega."

"A what?" Light asked.

"Light is an omega, sir." Detective Sato said positively, then looked at Light more closely. "You say you drive?"

Light nodded, taking out his wallet to hand the man his drivers license. Thinking privately over their use of the word omega, the last letter of the Greek alphabet.

"Only 5% of omega's drive in Japan. Of that five the majority are elderly." L said.

"This drivers license doesn't say that you're an omega." The man said, showing the card to L after he'd given it a look. Light blinked when he noticed the wallet, it was dark brown instead of black. 

"That is peculiar." L stated. "I will not peruse the matter of your fake ID but Detective Sato will speak to your guardians when they arrive."

Guardians? Hiding his irritation at the comment Light wanted to ask them what an Omega was but held back. Being in the presence of L, fake or not, made him cautious.

"Earlier you said that you were abducted around 1:20PM?"

"That's correct. I was working late and checked the time before I left. It was probably closer to 1:30 when the man attacked me."

There was silence on the other side of the screen for a long moment. The wind picked up slightly, the disgusting smell drifting over which Light tried not to react to.

"Your abduction story deviates from that of the others vastly. Every other victim was kidnapped from their homes directly."

"Light!"

He turned to see his mother and father stepping out of their car.

He was slightly surprised, as they came closer, by his own urge to hug them. To him it was as though he'd only seen them yesterday, and yet with all of the chaos it was a comfort to see their familiar faces.

"Chief Yagami." Detective Sato greeted.

"Dad." Light called, waving.

When they came closer he frowned as their scents hit his nose. His mother smelled mostly fruity, like mangos and strawberries. His father smelled approximately like cinnamon, though both of their scents were vaguely mixed together. As he looked up at them, they paused to look down at him as if they had never seen him before. The words of Ryuk filtered through his mind.

_"Lucky I chose this realm, Light. It's so interesting."_

"Your status..." His father said falteringly.

His mother looked at him with confusion. She sniffed him, noticeably, and for once in his life Light could say that he had no idea what was happening. Not that he would.

Status?

Before anything more happened his father's cellphone started ringing loudly. It was the ringtone set for when Light called him.

"Hello?"

"Who is this? ...I need you to come to where I am." His father said, rattling off directions before hanging up.

"Who was that?" Light's mother asked.

As his father stared at him Light somehow was not surprised by his answer: "It was Light."

 

"He said he was Light?"

"It was Light. I told him to come here so that we could sort out this situation."

Light decided that he had been silent long enough. If he didn't say anything soon they would ask him why he'd never mentioned being confused before, though as it was Light thought he might have had a better idea of what was going on then anyone else. Alternate realities were not something that he would have believed in without Ryuk's influence.

"I was abducted in November. On the second. You're saying someone has been... impersonating me and you didn't know?" Light asked with affected bewilderment.

Both of his parents stared at him as if he had started to fly.

"... you look just like our son. Light is an alpha though." Sachiko said.

She stepped forward timidly after a moment and lifted both hands to cup his cheeks, lifting his head gently to look into his eyes. Light didn't know what to make of it. He said nothing as she scrutinized him.

"You smell similar, yet completely different. You're obviously an omega whereas Light, our son, is an alpha." Her eyes dimmed as she looked at him. "If I didn't know any better I would say you were..." She trailed off and Light knew what was left unsaid.

Sachiko had only told him once, when he was much younger, about his twin that had died as a baby. Because it had pained her he'd never asked her more about it later. If this reality was the same as his then to this woman it must have been like seeing that child reborn. He lifted his right hand to hold hers comfortingly, unsure if he should tell her that he knew.

More things started clicking into place. It seemed he wasn't the only person with a suddenly heightened sense of smell. Not once had anyone ever told Light that he smelled like someone else. 

He asked the more pressing question, avoiding looking at the laptop that glowed damningly as if to mock him of his ignorance at the moment.

"Mom, what's an omega?"

Her eyes widened with shock and concern.

"You- you don't know what an omega is?"

He shook his head, careful to not dislodge her hands. She let them fall from his face and looked at Soichiro.

"This situation is becoming more curious by the minute." L then spoke up. "Light's memory cannot be trusted. There is a 52% chance that there are two Light Yagami's, twins, and a 48% chance that the Blood Eye Killer was able to physically alter the appearance of a similar looking omega with the use of extensive surgery. It is highly likely that in either case omega Light was brainwashed into believing himself to be Light Yagami, though for what purpose I cannot say. From what evidence I have gathered there is no indication that the Blood Eye Killer has the resources to carry out such an extensive operation. It is more likely then that another criminal with wealth and knowledge of our murderer did this." L rattled off.

"Another!" Detective Sato murmured to himself.

Soichiro progressively grew more worried at the news. Sachiko still looked at Light closely.

"He smells just like him." She said after a moment.

Soichiro placed his hand on her shoulder. "It can't be. He died, Sachiko."

"But he smells exactly like him. He was an omega." Sachiko said tearfully, "Even if I could believe he his appearance has been changed to such a degree how could they have gotten his scent right?"

Light was the only one that knew L's speculations were off the mark, besides the fact that he had indeed been a twin at one point.

From firsthand experience he knew that if this L was the great detective then he would pursue his theory like a dog with a bone. Just as he had during the Kira case. Except trying to figure out what Light had to do with this would only be a distraction. The killer couldn't have had anything to do with Light suddenly appearing in a different realm.

Light thought about his watch with the scrap of paper tucked away. If worse came to worse he could always solve the case himself and commence judgment. Putting the idea away for when he was alone Light tried to formulate a plan to suit his purposes while the others continued to speculate aloud.

"There is no way to change a person's natural scent to the extent that you've described, but there are many people with natural odors that are nearly identical to one another to an untrained nose." L replied.

"I'm telling you there isn't a difference. I would know his scent anywhere." Sachiko stated.

L hummed, it sounded strange coming from the digital voice.

"An omega would know their child's scent even if that child died young, as I presume is the case?" L trailed off and then continued when they both nodded in confirmation. "Mr. Yagami agrees that this omega's scent is no different?"

His father looked uncomfortable at the question.

"I saw my Hikaru die in my arms. There were complications during his birth... that said, yes, I can't refute what I'm smelling with my own nose. This young omega smells exactly as Hikaru did. Down to the fresh scent of cinnamon that is just barely perceptible."

"Is it possible that your son's death was faked?" Detective Sato asked.

Light assumed his father would say no, remembering the story his mother had told him well, but his father didn't answer the detective. He did look at Light though and asked him how he had recognized them, reaching out to place his hand on the nape of Light's neck. Light immediately felt relaxed by the gesture.

"You're my parents. I don't know what's going on. You smell different, though familiar too," He added the last because scent seemed to be important in this world, "But I am Light. I've always been Light, Hikaru died when I was a baby... I don't understand what you mean by omega's and alpha's, but you look like my parents and speak like them. I feel like I've been dropped into a different world right now. Everything is different and the same." Light stopped talking, suddenly feeling as though he was only making things worse for himself.

He had felt the urge to be helpful for some reason and had to suppress it before he started speaking about Ryuk.

It was a strange sensation altogether.

"Fetch Watari, Detective Sato." L ordered.

Light looked at the screen as his father dropped his hand to take the laptop. The absence of the pressure was at once a relief and a cause for anxiety. Immediately he went over what he had said. Tried to pick out if it had helped or hindered him.

"It is highly likely that your memories have been thoroughly tampered with, not only superficially but to the very core of your being as you are not identifying the different primary genders, alpha, beta, and omega. I would say I am now sure, though to what extent I cannot estimate yet, that it is also likely that you are indeed the thought to be diseased Hikaru Yagami. Your honesty in reaction to Mr. Yagami's touch is a classic response to familial relations between omega children to their alpha family members. Unless you are lying which is unlikely and atypical of omega's."

"Who would do this?" Soichiro asked, looking at Light with something close to wonder. "Why now? Why was he left here?"

"I will need to interview Light to find out. At this point in time he is the only witness."

Light's parents looked ready to object but Watari arrived with Detective Sato before they could respond.

"You called for me Master L?"

"Yes. Watari, it would be greatly appreciated if you would procure some books on omega biology and puberty. Also for alpha's and beta's."

If Watari was curious he did not show it, only nodded and left immediately.

"I realize that it is unorthodox but we have a qualified paramedic here now that will stay with Light while I question him, and you would of course be present." L said.

Light had no idea why he would need supervision for simple questioning, he wasn't even a suspect, but he immediately put together who the paramedic would be and protested.

"I don't need that paramedic to stay with me." Light said.

"Would Light be more comfortable with another, perhaps Detective Sato?" L asked.

"You don't have to answer any questions." Soichiro said, giving the laptop a stern look. "It's entirely unprofessional to place an omega in such a position. If you have questions I can set up an appointment with a reliable psychiatrist as the normal procedure dictates should happen. He shouldn't have been questioned in the first place."

Listening to his fathers staunch defense of him Light wondered what being an omega meant, and hoped that Watari would arrive soon with those books. The more he heard through observation the less he liked what he learned.

"It's alright dad. I want to help." Light said.

This only seemed to make his father glare at the laptop harder.

"Of course you do Light. But it's not healthy for you to be forced to remember what happened."

Light stared at his father and realized all at once that this man wasn't his father. Not at all.

"You sound about as condescending as that paramedic. I'm not a child and am not being forced into anything. I want to answer this L's questions because I want whoever _butchered_ those poor people to be brought to justice." Light said, pointing at the crime scene sharply.

His father gaped at him as did his mother and Detective Sato.

Light wondered distractedly if L was gaping too but somehow he doubted it. In the next moment the paramedic from before was making his way over, seeming to have picked up on Light's agitation. Barely suppressing the urge to roll his eyes in a childish fit Light contained himself.

"Is everything alright here, Light?" The paramedic asked stupidly.

_Everything was fine until you showed up again._

"I'm hungry." Light said sweetly.

"I'll go get you something." He said immediately and then left, not asking Light what he wanted to eat.

Light glared imperceptibly at his back before turning to look at the laptop regally.

"You had questions?"


	2. One in the Same

Light's parents had fussed, initially, over the questioning but Light had gotten what he wanted in the end. It was only a matter of earnestly telling them that he had to do the right thing which in this instance meant answering whatever questions he could for L.

Detective Sato stayed as Light was questioned, as well as his father. Under L's instruction the detective also took a moment to get DNA samples for a test later, both of his parents agreed to one readily. Light's mother left to call Sayu and let her know what was happening. Light suspected that it was a gentle way to excuse herself because she didn't come back even though the questioning itself dragged on for some time. His exhaustion really started to catch up to him about halfway through.

They were only interrupted once when the paramedic from earlier brought him some lemon chicken in a takeout box. Light informed the man that he was a vegetarian. He normally wouldn't go out of his way to lie about something so petty. The situation coupled with his exhaustion was leaving him drained and irritable though. It was a pity, because the chicken had smelled lovely and once it had been in front of him he'd realized that he was getting hungry. The look of embarrassment on the mans face when he realized that he should have asked before assuming anything about Light was entirely worth it though, even when L leapt on the small comment like a dog with a bone immediately afterwards. Questioning how Light could have known he was a vegetarian and if he could remember any other details about himself.

For a brief moment Light almost thought L had caught him out on the lie, it wouldn't have surprised him exactly, but L didn't openly accuse Light of lying. He told the laptop that the words just came out, with his "confused memories" he could easily convince his father that he had been wrong later. He seemed anxious to make sure that Light was comfortable and wouldn't be phased by it. 

For the most part Light had focused on the laptop in front of him. He was curious about this L. It was unfortunate that the laptop served as a barrier, obscuring any information that he might have gleaned through their interactions. It was almost irritating. L could see his face and hear his real voice while Light was left with only a screen to look at.

Not that Light had told the whole truth as he was questioned. There was no way to explain waking up in a different world, and even if that hadn't happened Light had quickly decided that their was no reason to tell anyone (much less L) about what it felt like to be stabbed. To run and falter and realize, with clarity and terror, that he was going to die. Instead, he fell back on his past experiences in dealing with the detective. Dodging and deflecting the questions that he didn't want to answer skillfully and using the truth to his best advantage. It helped that he was actually innocent of any wrongdoings in this world.

The sky, brighter when they started, became more cloudy the longer they spoke. A chill came into the air and Light pulled the blanket more securely around his shoulders, stifling a yawn. Light had left work at a late hour, planning to go straight to his apartment to sleep. It didn't feel like he was simply tired because of that though. His exhaustion was all encompassing. Mental, physical. Light felt... stretched. As if only recently he'd been simultaneously thinking hard and working out past his limits, pressing himself to the point of snapping without realizing it, with the effects only catching up to him now. It was difficult to keep himself from shaking and falling in on himself for a moment. He had to pretend it was only anxiety.  

He played with the theory that some of his memories had been altered by the serial killer. Utilizing what he remembered from those days on the task force when he _had_ lost his memories. Recalling the lingering sense of vulnerability that he had kept hidden from everyone at the time, when he'd first noticed the inconsistencies in his own recollection of the events leading to his temporary incarceration. 

Light described the man that attacked him exactly as he remembered him. Disheveled, with black hair and dark eyes set against pale and sickly skin. Baggy jeans and a long sleeved black shirt that had no brand logos which might have distinguished his clothing. Black rings under their eyes, either from makeup or insomnia. All the while he wondered if L would notice the similarities between himself and the attacker. If this L was anything like the L from Light's own realm then there was no doubt that he would. But nonetheless, no clues as to L's thoughts filtered through the laptop from wherever he was hiding out. 

"Thank you for your assistance, Light." L said when he finished questioning him.

Watari had driven up and was stepping out of the limo with a pile of books in his arms.

Light knew that there had to be inconsistencies in his answers and that he had likely just confused the case irreparably. He would be surprised if anything that he had said would help the man find this killer. But he also knew that L was already working under the assumption that there were two criminals, which meant he would eventually find the actual Blood Eye Killer. 

Light gratefully accepted the books when Watari came over.

At the top of the pile, "So You're a Male Omega!" in bold letters stared up at him. Underneath the title was a beautiful looking young man with a large belly. He looked pregnant and Light paled, swallowing quietly, as he took the new book and placed it at the bottom of the pile.

He would get to that discovery later. The second book read "HEAT" in large letters. Light decided he did not want to know how that was important either yet and placed it at the bottom too. The next one simply said "Omega Physiology" and had a promising plain cover with a drawing of both a man and a woman. 

"Thank you." Light said, looking up at Watari and then at the laptop as an afterthought.

These books would help him and he planned to absorb their information as quickly as possible. It was already apparent that he couldn't go around without knowing what omegas, alphas, and betas were. Watari nodded, then took the laptop away from his father politely.

"I'm going to go find your mother. Will you be alright here?" His father asked, putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Yes."

"Please inform Watari of Light's new living arrangements when it is decided. I may have more questions for him as the case proceeds." L said.

"We will, but in the future a psychiatrist will be present."

Light watched his father carefully, judging how serious he was. Ridiculous. For the moment Light wouldn't contest it, if he did his parents might only assume he was in denial and push harder for a psychiatrist, but there was no way it was going to happen.

"Whatever you deem appropriate," L agreed easily, then he addressed Light specifically. "You did very well, Light. Do not worry for the victims from now on. Justice shall be served."

Light nodded, though he couldn't say why he felt better. L wasn't real justice, wasn't Kira. But Light could not deny that the detective held the title of World's Greatest Detective for a reason. He did not have to worry if the Blood Eye Killer would be found in this world. It was only a matter of time, and while this L worked on that Light could focus his mind on finding a way back home. He could figuring out how he'd come to be in this world; without remembering the faces of the victims of the Blood Eye Killer that looked too much like himself to be easily forgotten.

 

Only a few moments passed before Light saw his own car, what looked like his own car, parking behind Watari's.

Light watched as his double stepped out of the vehicle. Dressed formally in a dark suit that was of a similar design to the ones that Light often wore. The easy confidence that exuded from the man did not surprise Light. Their eyes locked and the other's widened momentarily. His twins hair was shorter than his own, the same length that Light use to keep his hair at. They were close to the same height. His twin only slightly taller and broader. Light only noticed it because he was specifically looking for any differences between them.

He watched as his parents intercepted his brother, predictably filling him in on the bizarre situation. Light tried to imagine what his own reaction would be if the situation were reversed. It wasn't a simple comparison though. He would have had Ryuk to secretly fill in the gaps. He imagined that if he had met 'Hikaru' he would have been fascinated to an extent and would have hoped that the other was intelligent. As Kira, he would have needed to be careful. Would have had to figure out his other half quickly. His pseudo twin did not have the fate of the world on top of meeting Light to dwell on. As far as Light could tell, there was no Kira in this world or L would have been working on that case instead. It was a strange consideration in itself. So much had been changed little by little because of his work as Kira. In this world all of those differences were wiped away.

His parents and his twin, for lack of a better word, came over to his side. Detective Sato excused himself to give the family some privacy, but L directed Watari to stay. Light stayed composed as he watched them near, a tired yawn that took him by surprise. He needed to catch some sleep, and soon. 

For a charged moment they all stood around Light. Soichiro and Sachiko looking at the similarities between their sons. Light almost wished that his lie was true, that Hikaru was back as Sachiko reached out hesitantly to smooth his hair back gently. He couldn't find it in himself to stop her, when his hair was already ruined and he just wanted to sleep, when he knew that she was seeing Hikaru in his features. A sickly little baby that had died in Soichiro's arms.

His father introduced L and Watari first. A spark of recognition came and went through the other Light's eyes, but he didn't offer more than a polite greeting. His father awkwardly introduced him next, unsure if he should call him Light or Hikaru.

"You may all call me Hikaru if it makes things easier." Light said, feeling cordial.

He didn't think that it would be possible for him to get used to the other name. But maybe it would serve as a reminder that this world was not his own, and that he needed to find a way back.

He smiled warmly at his mother to watch her glow with happiness and awe. The only person that he would feel sorry for leaving was her. Though his own mother would be grieving the loss of two sons now, it was a sobering that Light didn't allow himself to show.

"Hello, Hikaru. Despite this situation I can't help but see it as a miracle that you've come back to us." His twin greeted him with warmth.

"It is." Light said.

He was slightly fascinated by the face of his twin.  

It was strange to hear his own voice, to see his own smile, on someone else. So familiar. They smelled very similar, all things considered. His brother smelled like baked apple pies and cinnamon. It was a warm, heavy scent, and he decided he liked it. He felt as though there was an instant connection between them as he realized that while they might not have been twins, in some ways they were an even closer match. This was another _Light._

"Hikaru seems tired. Is he going home with you?" His double asked their father.

"I was thinking he could use your old room for a start." Soichiro answered.

"I have a guest room that's slightly bigger, if it helps I could easily take care of him."

They didn't include Light as they sorted out where he would be staying for the time being. Light was exhausted but he suspected that this was another omega thing that he didn't understand. Having decisions made for him. He would have to watch carefully to make sure that it didn't become an issue later, as it was a lack of knowledge was his main problem. He glanced down at the pile of books in his hands, acutely aware of what he lacked in understanding.

Apparently, every person in this world was either an omega, alpha, or beta. Light was an omega for some reason. Not that he knew  _why_ he was an omega. Even though he had been told that his twin was an alpha he still wondered at that difference. If he was the counterpart of this Light Yagami, wouldn't that mean that he should also be an alpha? Another question was why was he anything at all. In his own world there were no statuses and his body had been the same as any normal mans. He couldn't become pregnant as the cover of that book had suggested. Yet in this world his body was that of an omegas if everyone was to be believed.

Hidden by the blanket Light ran his fingers over the places where he had been stabbed. Unblemished skin met his cold touches. He had been bleeding out, could remember the pain and weakness he'd felt. As much as Light would have liked to believe that he had somehow been healed in the process of ending up here... was this actually Hikaru's body? Had Light somehow taken the place of this worlds Hikaru? If that was what had happened, then where was the real Hikaru? Injured, or even dead, in Light's original body?

Had he truly died?

Misa would have told Light that he was going to die, wouldn't she have? If he was going to be killed there was no way she would have allowed him out of her sight, distracted or not. He didn't think Ryuk would have left him alone that day if his lifespan was coming to an end either. The Shinigami would have liked to have witness his death firsthand if nothing else. Light wanted to believe that his body was safe and sound. There was no way he could be sure though. If he was alive, at least in another body, then how would that  have effected the countdown above his head? Light had no idea. For once, he felt stuck on ideas. Full of questions. The only option he had was to try and figure out who Hikaru was. It might hold clues as to how they'd switched places, if that was what happened.

"Nonetheless he's going to need clothes to wear for tonight before we can go shopping for new ones, and I'm close to his size." Light, his twin, was saying.    

"That is a good point. Alright, Hikaru will stay with you for tonight then."

While Light found their decision agreeable, it grated just slightly to not be consulted foremost. As if they were taking for granted his own opinion when he was the one that should have been deciding. He was the traumatized victim, sleepy or not, who should have a say in where he felt most comfortable spending the night.     

"You'll bring him over first thing tomorrow?" Sachiko asked.

"Of course."

Light opened his eyes, he wasn't sure when he'd closed them. His brother was seated next to him and gently wrapped his arms around Light in his blanket.

"I'm sure you'd like to get cleaned up. Shower and bed?"

Light nodded gratefully. With everything that had been going on he'd not had time clean himself and the blood had only become more uncomfortable against his skin. He looked down at his coated fingers.

"That sounds perfect." Light said.

His twin smiled, helping him to stand. Light wanted to lean against him. Had to stop himself at the last second from doing so, drawn in by the soothing scent. He blinked the sleep from his eyes and straightened his back. Turning to Watari and the laptop.

"If you have any more questions please feel comfortable contacting me. I want to help put whoever did this behind bars." He said, taking the blanket off of his shoulders as he spoke to leave it where he'd sat.    

"Certainly." Watari said.

"You have been most helpful Light." L said.

Before they left each of his parents took the moment to hug him. He couldn't recall the last time his real parents had done this, maybe when he'd graduated from To-Oh, his family had never been ones to hug. In this instance it was understandable. To them this would be the first time they had held Hikaru in their arms since he was a baby. It was warm and Light noticed that it felt more intimate because he was able to take in the way they smelled with his every breath. 

It was like he'd found something new in an old picture of them, he was rediscovering them. Light didn't stop himself from letting his nose bury slightly closer to them in silent curiosity. The hugs did not last long. It was tight and held for only a moment longer than usual before disconnecting. His mother ran her fingers through his hair one last time before stepping back, and some of her scent was left behind as if for him to keep.

 

Light wanted to learn more about his new twin. This dimensions Light Yagami. Once he was enclosed in the passenger seat and the car began moving he studied the others profile.

They really were strikingly similar. The height difference unpronounced and the little changes in appearance such as hair and clothing barely making a difference. They could have swapped places today and no one would realize, at least physically, that they had. He thought his hair color might have been a shade darker than this Light's. Lacking the natural highlights that lightened it in the warmer seasons.    

It was only 3:15. Hardly late enough for Light to be this tired normally. He wondered if this was jetlag, some form of interdimensional jetlag. There was no way to tell how much time had elapsed between closing his eyes in his previous world and waking up in this one. It could have been seconds or longer. There was no telling how restful that might have been either, all Light knew was that exhaustion had hit him swiftly and it was difficult to stop himself from leaning against the window as the crime scene slowly became a speck in the car mirror. He managed not to but noticed that his blinks were each becoming longer by the second. 

His eyes closing. His eyes opening. Surrounded by the familiar- yet not familiar- scent of his twin.    

"Are you hungry at all, Hikaru?"

Hikaru. Hikaru. They were exactly alike. Him and Light. He wasn't even sure which one of them he was referring to. This person was his true counterpart. The Light Yagami of this world, who'd had a twin that supposedly died also. But who had never met Ryuk. Never owned a death note. How similar could they be? Without the death note to deliver them from that aching boredom and growing distain of the world around them, how had they dealt with it? Was this the man that Light might have been? Or was this some other variation of themselves entirely, a lifetime filled with infinitesimal changes snowballing to form a being that was unfamiliar to himself. A stranger.    

A part of Light was disquieted by the line of thought. Torn between enjoying the surreal chance to meet himself and unsettled by the implication that he wasn't a unique entity in and of himself. That there could me hundreds upon thousands of Light Yagami's, L Lawliet's, Soichiro Yagami's all exactly alike was strange to picture. This situation and what it meant, while he had known from Ryuk that there were other realms he had never once thought that it could mean there were other variations of himself living and breathing in those worlds. It was improbable in itself, that he could have been born more than once. How was it possible that his parents had met and had the same children?   

After meeting Ryuk the secrets of death had been revealed to him. There was no afterlife, only nothingness. He was sure there wasn't even a god beyond those that the Shinigami had appointed amongst themselves to create a semblance of order between their kind. A king, more than a god, or that's how Ryuk had referred to the specific Shinigami that ruled once. The similarities between worlds seemed too great to be a fluke but that was all it could be. On some level it was hard for Light to believe that there was no higher power tweaking things to create specific outcomes as he sat across from his lookalike. Why, how, were they so similar? Except, if there was a god then why had his own life been altered so greatly in comparison?

Was it simply Ryuk's interference? Why would that have been allowed? No, he was assuming too much. He was grasping. Hadn't Ryuk basically told Light that there was no greater power that directed life? No afterlife? No punishment for those who were evil, the only gods being those that humans created to guide themselves?  

"Light?"

He opened his eyes to look at his twin, recognizing his own name. Their shared name. One that had been unique in his experience up until this point.

"You're tired aren't you? Do you know how long it has been since you last slept?"

Light didn't want to say he wasn't sure. He wasn't used to being unsure or confused or lost, more often than not he was guiding those that were to a proper understanding of whatever it was that they were misunderstanding. He knew that compassionate expression on his own face. Knew that lurking beneath it was an apathy towards the struggles that others went through. He could remember often asking himself in those moments why others couldn't be better? These weren't thoughts that Light had truly touched on in years. When he started on his path to becoming god and creating his own world he had come to accept that no one else could be like him. Eventually he would weed out the truly hopeless ones himself and there would only be good people inhabiting the world.

He wondered what became of the criminals in this world. How many innocents had died because Light hadn't cut out the rot in this universe? Perhaps, in finding a way back to his realm, he could find a way to expand his influence to protect the other realms. He already knew L's name. It wouldn't be a struggle to stop the man... except, why didn't the death note work across dimensions? Did it have to do with appearance? The very slight changes that were barely noticeable? How different did this L look? Was he an alpha or an omega?   

A hand reached out to touch his forehead, checking his temperature. It distracted him from the nausea that had begun rise in him; because of his fatigue or because of what he'd been thinking about he didn't know. Light might have flinched from the touch if it hadn't been for the calming scent that came along with it. He didn't lean into the hand, though he wondered about it. He didn't think it was like him to reach out to another like his twin had. Maybe he would have for Sayu when they were younger, and of course Misa needed to be hugged and kissed. Light wanted to pick apart his doubles reasons. Thoughts. Actions. Wanted to compare them to his own and see where they differed.    

"Sleep."     

A hand on his shoulder, out of nowhere, startled Light awake. He felt as though he hadn't fallen asleep at all, even though a dream hovered at the edge of his mind telling him he had. Light felt a headache starting to form behind his eyelids as he turned to the soft voice above him.

"Sorry to wake you, I can tell that you still needed the rest. We're here." Light said.

"Mmhm." Light nodded, rubbing a hand over his face to wipe away the vague sense of disorientation he felt.

He turned in his seat to unbuckle himself. A hand reached down over his to undo it for him, then arms were helping to lead him out. Light stiffened at the swift and steady movements. Especially when they lifted him bridal-style after locking the door.

He opened his mouth to protest and slide from the hold.  

They were in a parking garage that Light didn't recognize. He took in the cars, the cool air.

"You're okay, Light. Go back to sleep." There was something strange about the tone of voice.

Light couldn't put his finger on what it was, it sent a shiver down the side of his neck like it was a physical thing. If it hadn't piqued his curiosity, if he hadn't already been put on edge from being picked up in his drowsy state, he might have instantly decided to listen to it. Light didn't think he had heard his own voice change like that before. Then again, like a recording, his twins voice already sounded slightly off in his ears.  

He shook his head. Noticing a look of slight surprise from his twin.

"I'm going to get blood on you." He murmured.

"I don't mind." Light said.

 

His twins apartment was smaller than the one he'd picked out with Misa. The bathroom white and utilitarian. For the first time since he'd arrived he noticed that the scent of the room was less apparent than what he was used to. Misa had plugged in an electric candle when they first moved in and the smell of "summer rain" was often pervasive in the mornings. But that didn't mean that there was no smell in the bathroom. Just like every place that Light had been to so far he could pick up smells that were completely foreign or much stronger than he was used to.

The scent of water was one of the strangest, taking him by surprise when he turned on the shower. He felt as though he could taste the steam. Taste the cold and the heat. For a while he'd switched back and forth experimentally, simply smelling the subtle differences. It reminded him of walking out on a cold day and being able to feel the bite in the air. Only the sensation was stronger and could be felt more fully. It distracted him from his exhaustion momentarily. Finally he'd picked a comfortable setting for the water and turned to undress. Still thinking about the heightened sense.

Light undid the buttons of the shirt with a practiced ease as he studied the outfit. It didn't consist of anything that he had bought in his own realm, though the clothing was enough in similar in style and coloring that he hadn't realized the differences when he woke up, more focused on the gaping bloodstain. Because of the circumstances it was rumpled and dirty, but otherwise it was uncannily close to what he might have chosen to wear. It was remarkably close to what he had been wearing when he was attacked. Light peeled the shirt off tiredly. Watching himself in the mirror, noticing a suspicious slightness in his reflection that he wasn't sure had always been there. The truth was, while Light was always careful about his body language and movements, he didn't look at his full body very often when he changed. Couldn't be sure if he was only imagining a difference or if the trip through realms was more taxing on his body than he'd first assumed.       

Then Light's eyes caught on his left wrist, his brows furrowing as his breathing petered to a slow trickle and his eyes sharpened, seeing one obvious difference immediately. He raised both of his hands to stare at his wrists. At two aged scars that ran down the centers of them. One for each. Light hadn't seen them with his shirt on. Hadn't felt them because they had long since whenever healed.

Suicide.

Suicide?

This wasn't his body, he had been right.   

The nausea that had ebbed in him once he'd finally been alone in the privacy of a bathroom came back. Stronger that it had been. Light didn't want to contemplate what he was looking at. To see the evidence of a suicide attempt on his, Hikaru's, skin was somehow chilling. Even knowing that he'd never considered committing suicide in his own life, in his lowest moments. He couldn't stop himself from wondering what had led to this. Knowing that he couldn't know even though the evidence of it was so close to him. On the very skin he was wearing. The realization that he was inhabiting the body of a stranger had never been clearer or more ominous. Hikaru might have looked like him, but Light hadn't an inkling of the life that the man had lived. It had deviated enough that they had felt the need to-

For a moment his very skin crawled. He wasn't in his own body.

Up until now Light could ease himself with the similarities between them. One of Light's hands slipped down to trail against the line of a pale scar. What had possessed Hikaru to have done it? Light felt a well of compassion towards his counterpart, an upsurge of fury directed at whatever the cause was. Relief that it clearly hadn't worked, because the idea of his own body bleeding and dead was painful to wrap his mind around even if they technically weren't the same person. The pain he remembered from last night resurfaced as he started at the scar. He didn't know why. Suicide had never been something that Light considered seriously beyond the plain facts that he'd picked up in his life. It now loomed over him.

He hated the thought of anyone seeing him with these scars on his wrists. Knowing that for however long he was trapped in this body, if anyone noticed them, they would broadcast a past that he had no knowledge of. A pain and weakness he would be expected to understand but couldn't. Couldn't even truly empathize or relate to despite how much they both resembled one another. But, Light realized, how could anyone be like him? In his own life he was nearly a god already. He needed to live a long life, and even shortening his life in order to attain the Shinigami eyes would be unforgivable.   

A sharp knock broke him out of his spiraling thoughts.

"Are you alight in there, Hikaru? I could smell that you're feeling overwhelmed." His twin said through the door.

Light's hands fell to his side as he calmed his breathing carefully, contemplating that last sentence and all of its ramifications, so that he could reply without causing more alarm. It was somehow comforting to know that his other self cared about his wellbeing, at the same time he didn't want to deal with the other's attention at the moment and he felt intruded upon to realize that he wasn't so alone after all. Through Light's scent his emotions could be understood through the door.

"I'm fine. I'll be finished soon." He said, sniffing himself discreetly.

Overwhelmed? He tried to figure out if he could smell his twin through the doorway also. He noticed the water and could tell that his own scent had changed now that he checked it, soured, though it didn't smell badly to him exactly. He couldn't make out his twins scent. Either Light was too new to understanding smells or his nose wasn't as strong. Another question that Light had no answer to.  

"Take your time. Are you sure that you don't need anything?"

"I'm sure."

He dropped the dirty clothes into the hamper and took his shower quickly. Hoping that the water would dilute his scent. Scrubbing all of the grime and blood away quickly. The water was the perfect temperature but Light couldn't help feeling embarrassed, and then more than embarrassed because of the way his scent involuntarily betrayed him, as he cleaned himself after the sudden interruption. Light had planned to check his new body over more thoroughly now that he was alone but decided against it for the time being, closing his eyes and turning his face into the gentle spray of water.

He'd already discovered another off-putting difference between his body and this one without even trying. His penis was somewhat smaller. Light's scent had changed again when he'd taken off his underwear, he was sure, though he'd been too preoccupied in getting under the water and trying to stifle whatever he was feeling to take notice of the way in which his scent had altered. He didn't understand how it was possible to learn so much about a person through their scent alone. Only knew that he couldn't risk doing anything if his every emotion was being smelled. Light had already gone through two shocks that were presumably noticed, he couldn't deal with anymore surprises with this Light in the apartment with him.     

Light didn't believe his scent would give away exactly what he was doing if he gave himself an impromptu physical, but he'd already spent more time than necessary looking at the scars on his wrists and he hadn't read the books yet either. It wasn't as though Light would even know what he was looking for.

Slowly the water at his feet darkened into a reddish brown, then gradually cleared as Light finished washing his hair. Fortunately the shampoo wasn't overwhelmingly strong. It reminded him vaguely of cinnamon. Light wondered if he had a stronger resistance to strong smells. He hadn't felt instantly overwhelmed by anything he'd sensed so far. Even when the smell of food seeped through to him, clashing strangely with the soap and shampoo.

He turned off the water tiredly once he was done. Dried himself and slipped on the clean set of underwear and gray pajamas that his twin had given him. Tucking a wet strand of hair behind his ear before entering the hallway, following the delicious smell.

He found Light in the kitchen. Preparing something in a pan.

"I hope you like stir-fry." 

Light was surprised when he saw what was cooking. It was a recipe that his mother had taught him and that he'd made himself many times. Although the smell was much different the ingredients which included peppers and green beans were the same. The sharper smell of the spices had distracted him from realizing what it was before seeing it. It was only after seeing it that he started to realize what he was smelling, making connections and noticing that it was actually familiar to him.

"It was the only vegetarian meal that I could think of on short notice."


	3. Luminous Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Past Rape/ could be read as Dubious Consent or not.

Light tried to catalog what he smelled throughout the kitchen without progress. Everything in the apartment mixed strongly together, new and slightly nearly overwhelming. Would this realm have words, expressions, that pertained only to explaining smells? Phrases and sayings that would not have been needed in his own world where the human sense of smell was blunted?  

His double upheld most of the conversation without minding Light's quiet contemplation. They knew he was tired. Likely, they believed his behavior was due to traumatic experiences as well. It wasn't a misconception that Light particularly enjoyed, but he would use it all the same for the time being. Light observed them as if they were putting on a show for a time. Fascinated even in his distraction by the information that his mother was a photographer, of all things, and that his father wasn't a detective but a lawyer. 

The differences between this world and his own kept climbing in number. 

He'd assumed that the stir-fry, a light one in his own experience, would settle his stomach. He hadn't accounted for his heightened senses though. The stir-fry tasted nothing like his mother's version of the dish. He could only assume that now, with his senses so altered, nothing he ate would taste the same. Something about trying his mothers recipe, seeing it and not being able to taste it, was disorienting. It was everything he could do to keep his back straight and his face relaxed as he considered his options, his life as it was. 

Light thought of the scars on Hikaru's arms and the strange senses their body bore. They might have looked like the same person but their lives couldn't have been more different.

Light knew how to lie, but he had no idea how the real Hikaru had acted. 

Light wasn't sure that he _wanted_ to assume another persons identity so completely that he took their name as well. Hikaru was Hikaru, and Light was Light.

There was no way out, though, but to assume the identity of his twin and find out what had happened to them and why he was here. He could blame altered memories for any discrepancies, large or small. That would have to be enough.  

Light's slowly placed another spicy bite in his mouth, sweeping his eyes over his counterpart thoughtfully as he chewed. When they noticed him looking they smiled. Light gave the same smile back. The one he'd perfected at age six and tweaked here and there for the rest of his life. He felt strangely possessive of that particular expression on that particular face. Light didn’t want to give up his name. It was his name, and perhaps his counterpart was entitled to it as well, but Light wanted to hold onto his real identity. 

He looked down at his plate and continued to eat. It looked the same as his mother's. She’d probably gained the recipe in the same way as well. That seemed to be how these multiple realms functioned. There might have been a thousand Yagami Light’s in other realms. In the end, going by the same name might differentiate himself from Hikaru but it wouldn't differentiate him from every other Light that lived. 

Should he choose a new name? An identity that was only his own? 

He could call himself Kira. It was his other name. It didn't have the same significance in this world, so it wouldn't be suspect. Although, considering the fact that the name sounded like the English word for "killer" Light put it aside. He didn't want to give L any reason to consider him a suspect. He didn't particularly want to look at baby names for this. Then, perhaps he could adopt some variation of his own name instead? Some variation of Light. Sun? Luminescence? No.

His name was spelled with the kanji for moon. He would much prefer Tsuki to being called by the name of someone he had always thought of as his deceased twin. When the time seemed right he spoke to his counterpart. 

"... Hikaru sounds like someone else to me now, and Light isn't quite right either. How does the name Tsuki sound?"

They - Light, let them have his name - smiled that smile again.  

"Tsuki, that sounds nice. I'll call our parents and let them know before we visit them tomorrow. On official documents you would still be Hikaru, but otherwise, welcome to the family Tsuki." 

It was a cheesy comment. It was oddly comforting. Those words paired with that smile. He had never not known what to say and that aspect of himself seemed to have carried over into this world.   

 

The last image in his mind as he drifted to sleep in the guest room minutes later was the moon. Round and glaringly white. Tsuki.

 

The sky was black. 

Tsuki observed the few stars that could be seen dangling in the darkness. Each one winking dimly, with little effect on the pitch black expanse that surrounded them. The moon, once an eye-catching white, was slowly being swallowed by dark clouds that moved like smoke and Tsuki watched it all quietly. 

He knew that his fingers were curled around his stomach, sticky with something that he wasn't thinking about. 

A perplexing emotion subtly began to form, creeping slowly upon his senses until he could almost feel it physically sticking in the back of his throat. In his arms and legs paralyzing shivers kept him frozen in place. He knew what was happening (didn't he...?) but he wouldn't think about it. He felt lightheaded and nauseous but looking at the stars helped distract him from it all. Footsteps came closer, quiet at first and then louder.

The stars began to fade out, one by one, like they were turning away from Tsuki and the the sight of it made the turmoil he felt more pronounced.

 _Help_.

Tsuki tried to speak. 

The ghost of a familiar pain was becoming sharper and more pointed. Tsuki couldn't speak - couldn't _breath._  He choked on the taste of blood in his mouth. His hands were sticky. His hands were wet. He'd been stabbed, wasn't that what happened? The footsteps were coming closer. Someone. 

"He-lp." Tsuki called, truly afraid.

He couldn't die. He couldn't die like this. He needed to be alive or everything he had accomplished as Kira would fall apart, the world would go back to the way it was. There would have been no point to anything he had done so far. Tsuki felt like he was suffocating on more than the blood in his lungs, like the darkness around him was suddenly constricting on his dying form. 

_I can't die. I have to become-_

The footsteps came closer and Tsuki screamed as the last star disappeared. Those footsteps weren't someone coming to save him. Those were the steps of the man that had stabbed him. The man that was going to kill him. 

The man was coming.

Arrived.

He stood over Tsuki's still form like a looming Shinigami. Tsuki tore his gaze away from the empty sky and stared instead into dark eyes that looked as black as the sky, and shockingly familiar.

L.  

 

Tsuki - no, Light, no Tsuki - jerked awake with a cry. His chest heaving as he gasped for air, shoving aside blankets and sheets. He fumbled into a seated position in the dark, twisting to let his legs hang over the edge of the bed. He let his head hang low, hair falling forward as he forced himself to take in deep, open mouthed breaths.

The image of L with a hand reached out, to help or to finish what his attacker had begun, didn't fade in clarity as he steadied his breathing and brought his shaking body back under order. Tsuki grit his teeth to starve off whatever hysterical sound was trying to scratch its way out of his throat. It had been disturbing to see L replacing his attacker in his dream. While, during and after the attack, he had noticed a resemblance in the dress, hair, and stature of both men they obviously hadn't been the same men. They had similar faces with large round eyes but L's features had been foreign, the man that had attacked Tsuki was clearly Japanese. The man that attacked him had a strangely fierce expression on his face instead of an inscrutable one. The man that attacked him had been alive, and no one could come back from the dead. The death note, for all its power, could only take life. 

Tsuki's eyes flickered to the far corners of the room, reflexively searching for a witness. He was so accustomed to Ryuk's presence that some part of him still anticipated the Shinigami to slide through the walls with a cackling smile. He remembered one of his last nightmares as teenager, remembered awakening to find out that the Shinigami had seen it all. Ryuk had expressed some amused surprise at the evidence of his inherent humanity. Tsuki had thrown his pillow at, through, the death god before going to wash his face in the bathroom.

Peeling away his humanity, to accept his role, had not been painless. Only necessary.    

He half expected Light to knock on the door as he had knocked on the bathroom door before, smelling the anxiety that his nightmare created. Unlike before he noticed the way his scent had changed this time. He could smell the faint sourness in the air that clung to him. Was that the smell of his fear? Tsuki waited for a time, listening for sounds beyond the door, but no knock came and slowly he relaxed. 

He wouldn't sleep again for some time, even though he didn't feel completely well rested or up for leaving the quiet room and entering the unknown again unprepared. Instead Tsuki flicked on the the lamp on the bedside table and lifted one of the books L had instructed Watari buy for him.

Tsuki had some reading to do.

 

 

 

It was never a perfect switch. The first time Hikaru transferred he’d woken up as a woman in an unfamiliar bed without legs, from the knees down, and nearly bled out before he was able to drag himself to a phone in his counterpart’s kitchen. Explaining the perplexing “assault” on his person to the doctors, police, and a horrified family (whose genders were also changed) had been a hassle Hikaru was ill prepared for.

He still thought waking up in the midst of a heat, not that he’d understood what was happening, with a stranger knotting him in a love hotel was worse. Someone had been calling him their bitch and beautiful in the same breath, digging their nails into his hip with one hand in an unwavering grip, a stream of threatening growls coming from their throat that made Hikaru scream before the pain of it had even set it, pulling at the tie around his neck sharply as they ordered Hikaru to call himself their omega. And he’d said “yours, yours” in terror and a hazy arousal, crying into the pillow under his face and gasping for breath.   

He’d hated living as an omega. Even the months he’d spent in a wheelchair in one universe hadn’t felt so restricting, or left him so sense-confused.

The people in that world were more like animals. The first few hours after his heat under that man had been unnerving. He’d showered, put on his counterparts clothes, stole the alphas vehicle; took his counterparts cellphone and wallet, then drove to the nearest library where a number of alphas (greedy, titillated, alphas of both genders) had approached him. They tried to smell him until he'd growled at them – _literally growled at them_ – and in the case of one aggressive alpha that attempted to drag him bodily to the restroom, until Hikaru silently beat the shit out of them in the quiet corner of the library they’d followed him to.   

He’d checked out ten books on history and biology, then searched his counterpart’s wallet for a home address and used the GPS on their cellphone to get home. Hikaru had broken into the apartment when he realized that he’d left their keys at the hotel, cursing the whole while.

The more he’d read the more disgusted he was that a world like that one existed.

Only the thought that he would leave the world in the same way that he’d left all the others kept him from slitting his wrists in anxiety as his counterpart apparently had at one point. Being a slave to ones senses was not a life Hikaru was willing settle for, and soon he had more to deal with then being in the body of an omega. The longer Hikaru stayed the more he realized that the new life he’d slipped into was similar in all the wrong ways to his first life, and different in all the wrong ways too. Unlike the others, he knew without a doubt that the luckiest thing to ever happen in this Hikaru's life was to get booted out of it.

He had never felt hunted like he did in the months it took him to set up his ritual again. It was worse than the first time he switched lives because his body was more vulnerable and he didn’t have a natural born omega's experience in dealing with the new and heightened senses of their kind.

In his first life he might have felt hunted but he never allowed himself to falter. If anything, the opposite was the case. He relied on his strength and intelligence all the more. He refused to be made helpless. 

Hikaru might have started switching lives in the first place in a desperate gamble to save himself, one that worked, but at this point he did it for the satisfying rush it gave him. In the beginning he would have settled for any life that was compatible enough for him to integrate comfortably. Now he was searching for the perfect life to inhabit.

He wouldn’t stop until then; had made peace with the fact that he was upending the lives of several Hikaru’s and Light’s years ago. As far as he was concerned, as the only one that could switch lives, he was the only one deserving of a life that was flawless. Whatever Light or Hikaru that he usurped was only lucky to have been born to that life, not deserving of it. Hikaru took a chance every time he transferred himself. One day he might enter the life of a comatose counterpart. There was always the possibility that he would never find the perfect life to inhabit. His time as an omega was proof that he was taking a taking a blind leap of faith every time he switched, but those risks only made his pursuit sweeter. Hikaru had grown to revel in the process of navigating the challenges he encountered, though he was in over his head in the omega Hikaru's life.

For once he pities the counterpart that he just swapped with. The life of an omega had been a struggle. Something close to guilt but closer to relief pulsed through him when he felt the swap begin again.

_Finally._

When Hikaru entered his new body and felt himself bleeding from the stomach it didn’t worry him as much as it might have the first few times he’d exchanged bodies. He was used to having to land on his feet and, mentally, always prepared himself for the worst.

He could feel adrenaline coursing through the body he'd settled into, through faintness and pain. He held onto that energy with a tight smirk as he spun towards the blurry figure that he saw running towards him with a glinting knife raised above them in his peripheral vision.

Killing them was a mess, but fast. There was no time for dragging the encounter out. He took their knife and lodged it into their throat. After fighting alphas twice his size it was almost stupidly easy, even in his injured state. He was done with them before they realized how much of a threat he’d become.  

He grabbed the cellphone on the floor and called an ambulance, describing the parking lot he was in (fortunately he recognized it) woozily as he leaned his back against a car and tried to slow the bleeding as much as he could with his other hand. If there was one aspect of his first life that he appreciated, even felt grateful for, it was that he’d learned to fight while growing up. Hikaru had noticed that most of the bodies he entered were not as muscular as his first. Few had experience fighting. The omega, Hikaru, despite the similar paths their lives took had not been taught how to fight either. Hikaru could only assume it was because of their status.            

To keep himself awake, a difficulty after hopping dimensions but one that he had practice in, he riffled through the contents of Yagami Light’s wallet with one hand.   

“Detective… Hah.”  

He coughed and hoped he wouldn’t die before he got the chance to give this body a joyride at least. Looking up at the stars, a lazy smile bloomed slowly in the dark as the whistle of a siren pierced the cold silence.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So from now on Light =Tsuki. I considered having alpha Light change his name to Tsuki but in the end I thought it made more sense for Light to change his name, character-wise, because he's the one undergoing a huge identity crisis at the moment.
> 
> I don't know any Japanese. If I did I might have tried to find out if there were any interesting ways to spell Hikaru that would fit with the name Light, or some other name that would compliment the name Light better. Light is such a symbolic name that stands out and 'Hikaru' (meaning 'to shine/light/brightness') probably doesn't do his twin justice. It's like Light's parents put all of their creative efforts into the name Light and then realized they were going to have twins. I couldn't find any name meaning for Sayu though, so maybe it's not really that out of character? But then again I think Sayu would be considered a rare name too. Their theme must be names that aren't really names and then randomly there's Hikaru, haha.
> 
> When I was researching Tsuki for a name I also found out it means, depending on how it's spelled 'thrust' as in a fighting move in martial arts. Or it could be used to refer to sex, "the strong 'thrust' of a male penis" (HA! What even?) or assassin (which is not much better than Kira). I give up. It's spelled moon, okay? Not trust or assassin.


End file.
